As Father’s Day approaches, you probably feel blessed that Dad’s love for you is unquestionable. One thing VERY questionable, though, is his sense of humor. We’re talking “corny,” “cheesy,” and “totally groan-inducing”! But be honest: You wouldn’t have it any other way, right? So let’s celebrate Dad’s highly-debatable—but always endearing—sense of humor by laughing our way through these all-time favorite Dad jokes!
* * *
My friend was showing me his tool shed and he pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.”
* * *
Know why it’s so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
* * *
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
* * *
Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday, of course. The rest are weekdays.
* * *
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, “I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.”
* * *
Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.
* * *
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
* * *
I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.
* * *
Did you know the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
* * *
I used to run a dating service for chickens. But I was struggling to make hens meet.
* * *
I just told my doctor, “Doc, you gotta help me, I think I’m shrinking.” He replied, “Don’t worry. You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
* * *
What do you call a bundle of hay with a crucifix on it? A Christian Bale.
* * *
A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collided in the middle of the ocean. Both crews were marooned.
* * *
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
* * *
Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels.
* * *
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y.
* * *
Do you want to buy your dream house in Maine—or sell one? We’d love to assist you, and invite you to contact us today.
